You may have asked yourself recently, “What Can Brown Do For You?” Well, the answer to that question would be: Not a whole lot, but from a really cool little chat window on your computer…
Here is the transcript from a half hour of my life I can never get back:
Initial Question: How soon can this be redelivered? or can I meet the driver somewhere along his/her route? It is a very important package..
Cel R.: Hi, this is Cel R.. I’ll be happy to assist you.
Cel R.: Just a moment while I look into that for you.
Joey: ok thanks
Cel R.: Our records show were unable to deliver your package today, 10/25/2013 because business was closed. However , if you need your package today,we can process a hold for pickup.
Joey: when would that be available?
Cel R.: Your package may be unavailable until later this afternoon or evening when your driver has completed all of their deliveries and pickups for the day.
Joey: how can I get it sooner? can I meet the driver on their route?
Cel R.: Unfortunately, drivers are not allowed to do business on the road for security reasons.
Joey: ok, is there any way the driver can stop by if they are still in the area?
Cel R.: We make one delivery attempt per day for three consecutive business days. If
Joey: well, our morning and afternoon driver is usually the same person, if it is him today, can her deliver it when he comes to do our pick-up in the afternoon?
Cel R.: I need to forward your information to the local package center for resolution. May I have your last name and phone number please?
Cel R.: Thanks. It will take me just a few minutes to put this through. I will be right with you.
Cel R.: May I have the business name?
Joey: Vanessa Mooney
Cel R.: Thanks. Just to verify,your address is:
XXXX XXXXX XX
Is that correct?
Cel R.: Thanks. One moment please.
Cel R.: I appreciate your patience. I have forwarded your information to the appropriate package center for further assistance. You can expect a call today within an hour. Do you have any other questions?
Joey: yes, can I have the drivers name that attempted deliver this morning?
Cel R.: I am sorry, we do not have that information available in our system.
Joey: can you call the dispatcher and find out?
Cel R.: Unfortunately, we are unable to call the local center.
Joey: can you call the regional center and have them call the local center
Cel R.: I am sorry, we do not have any means of doing an outgoing call.
Joey: ok, i drove around and found the driver and he gave me the package
Joey: i had to cut him off and block his truck in
Joey: it was like a scene out of a movie
Cel R.: Is there anything else I can help you with?
Joey: i pulled him out of his truck and threw him up against the wall and said “If you don’t give me that package I’m gonna talk Cel R.’s ear off all day!!”
Joey: just kidding… they redelivered the package while we were busy chatting up a storm…
Cel R.: That’s great.
Joey: yeah, you should really work on getting a phone in your office so you can call people to better resolve issues like mine
Joey: this whole experience was literally of ZERO help, and a complete waste of both of our time
Joey: all you told me was “we cant do that” and “i cant help you”
Joey: you should talk to you supervisors and demand that they give you some kind of authority to actually HELP the customers that are contacting you
Cel R.: I am sorry, we are in a live chat, you may contact us at 1-800-PICK-UPS (1-800-742-5877) if you wish to speak with our Customer Service. In our end, we communicate all requests electronically.
Joey: either that or advise them to shut down this whole pathetic excuse for a “live chat” dept you are offering on your website
Joey: heck, if you give them the idea to shut down this dept that doesn’t really do anything and would probably save the company many hundreds of thousands of dollars ever our you’d probably get a sweet promotion to some corner office in upper management somewhere
Cel R.: I believe we
Cel R.: I believe we’re all set now. Do you have any other questions before we conclude our chat?
Joey: I’d like to wish you good luck in your journey to the top!
Cel R.: Thanks for contacting us. Enjoy your day.
Cel R. has disconnected.
She disconnected just as I was going to tell her not to forget us little people out here when she’s Some upper level V.P. over there at UPS.
Come on UPS, get it together…